Why we can’t handle relationships anymore!

Today, i want to write a article about something other then the daily news and tragedies surrounding us. Something that effects everyone on a more personal level.

Most relationships today just don’t work. The question is, why not???

It is a pretty simple concept. We fall in love and share our life together. Our grandparents and most of our parents did it as well. Why aren’t we able to? People are getting divorced left and right while others stay in their relationships miserably, and live completely phony lives. These same people, though, are quick to point the finger and judge others for speaking up. I am trying to understand todays dating scene. Back when i was younger and old enough to date, texting was just starting to make its way into mainstream society. So if i wanted to speak to someone, i had to call or ride my bike to the persons house and knock on the door. Everything required an action on my part or the other person.

Our generation isn’t equipped to handle relationships – and here is why:

1. We are more connected than ever before, but completely disconnected at the same time.  

Let’s face it, the last time you “spoke” to the person you love, you didn’t even hear their voice. You may be in the same room but you are not necessarily together. You are sitting on the couch watching TV together, and probably both of you are scrolling on your phone.  When you spend time that way the TV or phone has your attention – not your partner. It is important to stay connected, spending quality time together. And by quality time , i mean giving your partner your undivided attention.

You told your partner you made a dinner reservation through a text message. You share your daily activities through facebook, email or text message. You may get flowers sent to you through an app on the phone. 90{ad240bdc933e8291c170e386d0b01f82788bc4a8ea0d319192e75b222859f323} of personal conversations you have on a daily basis occur through some type of electronic device. It is so easy to be misunderstood this way. There is no physical connection attached to anything anymore. We have developed relationships with things and through electronics and not with each other. We basically have removed human emotions from our relationships.

We have forgotten how to communicate yet expect healthy relationships. It is not possible to grow together if we barely speak or spend quality time together.

2.  Finances kill us

Years ago, it didn’t cost $100,000 plus for an education. It also didn’t cost $300,000 plus for a decent home. The cost of living is extremely high these days. It causes a lot of stress and strains in your relationship. The pressure to find a job that pays for student loans, a mortgage, utilities, living expenses and children is very high. It is very difficult to find a job that can provide an income that will help you live comfortably while paying all these bills. Almost everyone has 2 – 3 jobs. The strain causes separation between us. It hinders us from being able to live life. We are too busy paying bills to enjoy our youth. Forget about going out to dinner or going out to see a movie. You will have to skip all of it just to pay the bills. People are in debt.

Part of life is being able to live. Not having the finances to do so takes away another important aspect of our relationships. It keeps us inside, forced to see the life everyone else is living.

3. Social media invited thousand people into bed with you

Once signed up with facebook, twitter or instagram you basically have thrown privacy out the window. Nothing is sacred anymore – it is splattered all over the web for the world to see. Everywhere we go, everything we do made public. Instead of enjoying the moment with our loved ones, we get lost in scrolling around reading and seeing what everybody else is doing. Yet another way of losing connection. It is a waste of time reading about another persons life. If we focus more on our own it might actually make a difference in our relationship. Most of these facebook posts are fake and phony. PEOPLE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH THEIR PHONES THAT THEY FORGOT HOW TO JUST SIT BACK, RELAX AND SOAK IN THE PRECIOUS MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing moments of your life . I do it myself. But where do we draw the line? When does it become too much. We have invited strangers into our homes and brought them on dates with us.  The worst part about all this is, it is going to get worse.

A committed relationship is sacred. It is the most beautiful sacrament and has tremendous promise for those fortunate enough to experience it. Failed relationships or not, I am a believer in true love and building a wonderful life with someone. It has always been my dream and it is very important to me.

Experiencing the demise of your love is painful and life changing. Something nobody should ever feel.

Short heartbreaking story but woke me up: It was about 4 -5 years ago, i worked at a restaurant near my house. I saw an older man sitting all by himself at the bar and he looked lonely and sad. I walked over to him and started a conversation. He then told me, that he had just recently lost his wife and he missed her so much. The way how this man spoke about his wife brought tears to my eyes. He truly treasured her. I asked him, what is the key to lasting love. He answered, it is very simple. What you invest in it, is what you will get out of it! Happy wife – Happy Life!

One thought on “Why we can’t handle relationships anymore!

  • August 21, 2016 at 18:31
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    The number 1 cause for divorce is marriage. Marriage itself is a pressure that most ppl can’t handle. Many of these problems u mention come from social pressure taught at a young age. U do not have to go into debt by going into school to be successful. It is a trap. Their are many people who have completed college and they only thing they have is it is a piece of paper that takes away the paper in their wallet. Success in a relationship does not need to be measured by a piece of paper. It takes the loving acts that u speak of. There also is no difference in the struggle of a person making $10 an hour with no debt compare to a people making $20 an hour with debt. The moral of the story is we need to find ways outside of what we get told to become successful in relationships and career paths. I don’t think I am book smart. But I make more money then my friends that went to college. I also keep more of my money because I only have to pay bills that keep my household running.

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